I've decided that the time has come where I'm going to bid farewell to this little ole blog and my own little corner of the sky. You see, with the new year came a recommitment to myself to simplify my life, and to eliminate anything and everything that serves as an added stress or deviation from authenticity.
When I started writing this blog four years ago, I was in a much different place in my life then I am now. I felt as if I was on top of the world; thriving as a young mother of two little boys. I was a full time stay at home momma with enough crafts and projects up her sleeve to fill a lifetime. I thought I had all of the answers, and often times with wee little ones underfoot, I did. Babies are babies, it's quite simple. Love them, feed and nurture them and watch them grow.
Throughout the past few years, change has been consistent. More than the packing, moving and consistent undertone of unknown, has been the great change in my children, and in turn within me. I'll be honest, most days I find myself humbled and near confusion as to how to deal with life with not so little ones. My role as these boys mother has changed significantly, and where I once felt quite confident in having all of the answers I needed to raise them, I now don't.
I struggle with the ebb and flow of simplicity. Too much verses not enough. Overexposure versus underexposure, tough love versus not so tough love. I don't have the answers. I wish I could snap my fingers and ensure that these little boys would become strong, intelligent, God loving men. Although,without that capability;I've resorted to doing everything within me to make sure that that's exactly what they will grow to be. Everything.
I was talking with my best friend a few weeks ago about the interesting balance in a mothers life, especially as her children begin to grow. Time is a bit different now, because where we were needed and expected for every detail of their lives, we aren't anymore. Don't get me wrong, the large majority of my life still revolves around my sons, although there are pockets of time, where I'm able to be myself; not someones mother, wife etc... This time is sacred and beautiful and in it, I've been reintroduced to myself; the young woman I was before I was my sons mother. I want to nourish that young woman, and celebrate her. I will always cherish and regard my role as a mother as the single most important role God could possibly give. Although I feel like it's time to step out of the beautiful shadow of being my boys mother, and step into the light, as my own self.
This year, Im going to stop typing and start writing.
This year, I'm going to make a list of things I have done, as opposed to a list of things I've yet to do.
This year, I'm going to find my voice in silence.
So this is goodbye my friends. Maybe not forever, but for now.
And with that, I wish for you the same things I wish for myslef.
Clarity, simplicity, creativity and a true, passionate love above all else.
So, I was at Michael's craft store last week, running in to grab a package of candle wicks, and knowing that I only had 15 minutes at a maximum until I had to be back in my car and headed towards Brooklyn's speech therapist. So, I'm in the store and the Christmas mayhem is on a heightened level. There's people swarming the isles, digging feverishly through overfilled bins, bumping into one another without reaction or any sense of common courtesy. I hear babies crying and children being reprimanded, and while standing in the check out line; next to an end cap piled high with every kind of artificial pine product you could imagine, I was reminded of what Christmas is not supposed to be.
am I right?
what in the world people?
So back in the comfort and security of my car,
I vowed to ensure this be a simple, and lovely Christmas for my family and I.
One thing I did decide to do, and the reason I was at the store that day to begin with, is to make more of these vintage tin candles. I made them as gifts last year, and they turned out beautifully. I think they are even better this year, seeing as throughout the year I was able to save enough odd, half burned candles to melt down and refill all of my tins and then some!
so here are a few pictures that I managed to take while pouring candles the other morning.
please know I had both Brooklyn and Bella helping me in the kitchen that morning.
old odd candles, ready for a new life!
Now onto the next topic of discussion... I'm so lucky to receive the sweetest and most thoughtful comments from my dear readers of this little blog. Honestly, you all couldn't be nicer. Thank you for that. Last week, I received a comment asking whether I would be willing to share a "home tour" with my readers... My initial thought when reading this request was, "No way!", followed by lots of nervous laughter. But then the more the thought resonated with me, the more open I became to the idea. You see, I'm very much that creative artistic person that is never really done with anything. My home might be decorated, but to me, it's never quite right, a bit unfinished. Does that make sense? So, in the past, when the thought of sharing images of the interior of our home, I've decided against it, because I wanted everything to be just right prior to doing so. Here's the thing... Its never going to be exactly the way I want it. I realize that. And even though it isn't perfect, it's home. Another bit of information that I now realize I might never have shared with you, is that we moved into a larger house about six months ago. So as a precursor, a sort of safety net for my own piece of mind, things are still coming together, a work in progress so to speak.
Another side note, the images that you see and my style of home decor might not suit you.
I understand that.
Although, it does suit us.
We love our home.
We love being home.
We wouldn't want it any other way.
So without further ado, here are a few room of our home I've not shared before. A peek so to speak, the full blown tour will just have to wait.