Wednesday, January 18, 2012

hello and g o o d b y e

I've decided that the time has come where I'm going to bid farewell to this little ole blog and my own little corner of the sky. You see, with the new year came a recommitment to myself to simplify my life, and to eliminate anything and everything that serves as an added stress or deviation from authenticity. 

When I started writing this blog four years ago, I was in a much different place in my life then I am now. I felt as if I was on top of the world; thriving as a young mother of two little boys. I was a full time stay at home momma with enough crafts and projects up her sleeve to fill a lifetime. I thought I had all of the answers, and often times with wee little ones underfoot, I did. Babies are babies, it's quite simple. Love them, feed and nurture them and watch them grow.

Throughout the past few years, change has been consistent. More than the packing, moving and consistent undertone of unknown, has been the great change in my children, and in turn within me. I'll be honest, most days I find myself humbled and near confusion as to how to deal with life with not so little ones. My role as these boys mother has changed significantly, and where I once felt quite confident in having all of the answers I needed to raise them, I now don't. 

I struggle with the ebb and flow of simplicity. Too much verses not enough. Overexposure versus underexposure, tough love versus not so tough love. I don't have the answers. I wish I could snap my fingers and ensure that these little boys would become strong, intelligent, God loving men. Although,without that capability;I've resorted to doing everything within me to make sure that that's exactly what they will grow to be. Everything.

I was talking with my best friend a few weeks ago about the interesting balance in a mothers life, especially as her children begin to grow. Time is a bit different now, because where we were needed and expected for every detail of their lives, we aren't anymore. Don't get me wrong, the large majority of my life still revolves around my sons, although there are pockets of time, where I'm able to be myself; not someones mother, wife etc... This time is sacred and beautiful and in it, I've been reintroduced to myself; the young woman I was before I was my sons mother. I want to nourish that young woman, and celebrate her. I will always cherish and regard my role as a mother as the single most important role God could possibly give. Although I feel like it's time to step out of the beautiful shadow of being my boys mother, and step into the light, as my own self.

This year, Im going to stop typing and start writing.

This year, I'm going to make a list of things I have done, as opposed to a list of  things I've yet to do.

This year, I'm going to find my voice in silence.

So this is goodbye my friends. Maybe not forever, but for now.

And with that, I wish for you the same things I wish for myslef. 

Clarity, simplicity, creativity and a true, passionate love above all else.

You're beautiful. 

I can't thank you enough for all that you have

 given me throughout the years.

 x o x o C


Fairfield House said...

“Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

You and your little men will be missed.

Your Friend,

Jess@craftiness is not optional said...

We'll miss you. Good luck in your journey!

tanya said...

I will miss you on here! I love your blog! But, as a mother with kids about the same age as yours I definitely understand the changing that is taking place.

Megan Hemphill said...

I've loved your blog for almost a year and am sad to see you go, but happy as well. I honor you, for giving yourself permission to simplify, to find yourself again and to move on gracefully. Well played.

Suz said...

I have randomly been following you as a transplanted San Diegan in SAHM in Austin, TX. Hopefully I can still find some inspiration from following you on Pinterest.

Anonymous said...

I am so sad to see you go, but so happy for you and your new beginning as well. Thank you for inspiring us and being the sunshine that filled some dreary days for me. Thank you again for doing the house tour, I really appreciated you doing that.

I am trying to wrap my head around this simplify thing myself. With a major infertility diagnoses that came last week (its been coming, I knew it), I have been trying to refocus. What do I need to work on most right now? And I know without even thinking, it's this same thing as you, I need to simplify. Focus on me, my husband, our dog, and being happy with the blessings I have.

Seeing your post today reminded me of what I need to work on most.

Good Luck!

P.S. - That picture is BEAUTIFUL! Can I pin it?

sheenersb at hotmail dot com

Jessie May said...

I wish you happiness in everything you do. Your photos are beautiful and I will miss your words and inspiration. Hugs from England.