Looking Back...

(This is a letter that I wrote to our family and friends, in the Fall of 2007, while in the last weeks of my pregnancy with  our second son, Brooklyn.  I came across a copy of it the other day and it touched my heart... How quickly time passes...)
Just like the color of the leaves in the tree's,my life is going to change this fall... So, all of a sudden I am 34 weeks pregnant, and just the other day, the reality of Brooklyn's impending birth hit me... I don't know why I have not really thought about it up until this point,my pregnancy has been fairly easy and I guess that I have been keeping busy with my life as I know it now...I can't believe that I am going to have another baby boy in a few weeks from now, what a miracle...I figure that I have taken all of the necessary steps towards becoming a mother for the second time,preparing my home, my son, my husband, the best that I can. I have to say that the greatest joy that this pregnancy has brought to me has been in watching Sebastian transform from my little baby, into a big boy, big brother that is.  The excitement has been growing, right along with my belly, and I don't know how I would have got through the last nine months without his companionship, love and support.  He was with me at all of my doctor's appointments, usually holding my hand and asking, "Does it hurt Momma?", when the nurse was weighing me on the scale.  We would laugh and I would usually answer,"A little bit, but I will be O.K!"  I will never forget the look on his face the first time that we heard his brothers heart beat.  Brooklyn's heart was racing,Sebastian's was soaring, and I swear for a moment, mine stopped..."A Choo-Choo", he said, comparing the sound of the heartbeat to a train chugging along...  Sebastian has been my constant support.  On day's when I wake up feeling bloated and unattractive, he loves me just the same as the mornings I wake up feeling like the most radiant pregnant woman ever!  He lies in bed with me early in the morning, feeling Brooklyn "kick,kick,kick", and we laugh about how silly it is that there is a baby in my tummy... I tell him that he is beautiful and that he is the best big boy in the whole world, and he says "No Momma, your beautiful in the whole world..."  I try to imagine what it will be like to love another little boy the way that I love my first son.  I know this love can't be explained, this love between a mother and her child...so I rely on the knowledge that in the first moment that I laid eyes on Sebastian, my heart imploded, love seeped though every inch of my body, and to this day I have never been the same...  So in anticipation of Brooklyn's arrival, I have been paying extra attention to Sebastian, clinging to his every word and trying to linger in each moment alone with him... as I know that in a few weeks from now, things will never be quite the same.  I love watching him get excited about something that he sees, or listening to him laugh, and laugh and laugh, (I wish that I could capture it in slow motion, and listen to it forever, part of the soundtrack to my life...)  I love watching him sleep at night, in his train shaped bed, and wondering what he might be dreaming about...a montage of his favorite things; playing at the park,running as fast as he can,Curious George and gum balls...  I have included a picture of Sebastian, taken a few weekends ago. Anthony and I decided that this would be the morning to assemble Brooklyn's crib, and about fifteen minutes after we had begun, Sebastian joined us with his tool apron and toy hammer.  "I want to help" he said, and he did.  Like Anthony told him later that day, "I don't think we could have finished building the crib without your help..."  I am so glad that I ran to get my camera and capture this moment on film, but this will be one of  life's  moment's that will forever be a picture in my mind... my sweet Sebastian.  I hope that this fall brings new life and growth to all of your families and your households.  I love you and I can't wait to tell you all about Brooklyn...