Sunday, August 30, 2009

Pillow Talk

Last night when I tucked Sebastian into his bed, I took the opportunity to lie beside him. You see, last night when I put my son to bed, he was a little boy on the brink of a new adventure in his life... School was starting the following day and soon, he would be a Kindergartner... I laid with him and rubbed his back, reminding him of all of the other firsts that he had experienced in his life. From the first time that he walked, to the first time that he spoke, all the way up until the first time that he met Brooklyn and spent his first day as someones brother. Different rights of passage, different times of his life, some new, some old, all treasured, all memories. He fell asleep there with us pressed up against each other and I could feel the length of his body next to mine. I listened closely to the rise and fall of his breath and the strong and steady beat of his heart. I inhaled his sweet scent and while remaining as quiet as I could, I cried. These were not tears of sorrow, Oh no... These were the tears of a mother who knew that she had given every ounce of herself to her child in preparation for that following day... These were the tears of a mother whose pride and confidence in her child are unparallelled and without means of being measured... These were the tears of a mother who often wonders where the years have gone and how her darling baby boy become such a handsome young man. While lying there beside him,I allowed myself to question the decisions that I had made throughout the last five years; and to consider whether or not there was anything that I should have done differently. Was there anything I knew for sure? I found great solice and comfort in determining that I wouldn't have done anything differently... Here is the conclusion that I came to. Sebastian is who he is today because of a daily commitment to love him and to support him. To lift him up and praise him, to nurture him and encourage him to be the most honest and pure person that he can be. This I know for sure...He is a good friend, he is a loving and supportive brother, he is kind and gracious... He is gentle and considerate and he loves openly and freely without constraints or limitations to his emotions. He is the keeper of an incredibly generous heart and sees the world in rose colored shades, for all of its beauty and wonder. Here is what else I know... Sebastian will gain momentum moving forward. He will be a dynamic student, a force to be reckoned with. Both unstoppable and unwilling to compromise for anything less than excellence... I will continue to watch him grow and stretch his physical and intellectual abilities. I will continue to encourage him, and to love and support him in everything that he does. I will also continue to spend these nights curled up next to him, relishing his presence and feeling my heart swell when I stand to leave and he whispers, "I love you Momma..." I will continue to remember that moment by his bedside as well as the moment that followed. I leaned down close to his head and whispered into his ear, "I love you too buddy, and am more proud of you than you might ever know..." That I know for sure.

Here 's to a year of new experiences and new beginnings... Here's to Kindergarten.

1 comment:

tanya said...

brought me to tears! Happy ones.