Love and Marriage

So you may have noticed that it took a few days for me to think about exactly what I wanted to say in my first entry about my darling Anthony and our marriage... 

I remember prior to being married, I had a few friends that were and would say things to me about how marriage was hard work, but secretly I believed that it didn't and wouldn't apply to us.  

Anthony used to make me feel like I was the only person in a crowded room...  and the last thing that I used to think about at night was how glad I was to have the right person lying in bed next to me. 

Then came the baby, (the first that is...),Sebastian was born and we had to learn how to still be the people that we had fallen in love with , while becoming new people all together; a mother and a father. And the worst of it was that we had to do it on two hours of sleep!

 I don't think anything could have prepared us or our relationship for how lonely this reshuffling of roles would leave us. At times not only did I not think I knew who Anthony was, I didn't know who I was myself.  Anthony wasn't cracking jokes like he used to;I wouldn't have had the energy to laugh anyway.  I remember how far away Anthony would seem across the great divide of our living room;watching television at night, he in his chair, I on the couch.  Who was this beautiful man???

And then one day, Anthony started joking again.  I was laughing, sometimes until I cried, and instead of him making me feel like the only person in the room, he made me feel like the most important person in the room, with a baby in my arms, spit-up and all!  

Only now do I feel like I can remember exactly why I feel in love with Anthony;the simplicity of our young love.  I remember the way I felt when I would see him across the room, the way I never wanted our conversations to end, because I feel the same way today.  

Yes, marriage and children change everything, it's impossible for them not to... but what a blessing to come out the other side and realize that those lost moments , the fear and the loneliness all leads to this amazing reveal... Wow!  I love my husband! Not only is he a wonderful man, but he is a dynamic father and again, the last thing I think about at  night is how glad I am to have the right person lying next to me...

Four years (and another baby) later, we are still figuring this out,making it up as we go along. Whatever challenges we face,great or small, it's all any of us can do.

I love you Honey.